do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
