sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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