Define "chronic" masturbator.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize