the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Randomize
