Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
