needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
