Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The beer is more important than you right now.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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