yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
