What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
