i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just cropdusted the office
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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