I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
