Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
im holly from the hills drunk
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
