I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
