My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
