rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
