You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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