i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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