If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
