Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
