areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
