better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
