I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
