her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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