HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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