My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Randomize
