i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
