sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
