is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
