Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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