Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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