i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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