the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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