Your tits are I can't wait for
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
