now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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