I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
