i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
