You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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