lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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