i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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