I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My breasts were aching with rage.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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