I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
