i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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