I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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