oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
