So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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