I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
