god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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