1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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