Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
