feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
