I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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