If i come over, it means nothing
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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