He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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