it hurts more in the daytime
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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