U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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