??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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