after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
