toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Swine flu. Run for my life!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just puked most of my soul out..
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